New jokes from me for you. Enjoy!


Source: http://images.clipartpanda.com/laughing-smiley-face-depositphotos_8080674-Laughing-out-loud-emoticon.png

Two Fish

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"

Special Horse

A man needed a horse, so he went to a temple and got one. Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse. In order to make the horse go, you say, "Thank God," and for it to stop you say, "Amen." So the man left, and a few minutes later he dozed off on his horse. Hours later, he woke up and his horse was racing him towards the edge of a cliff. Just in time, he shouted "Amen!" and the horse stopped a few inches from the edge. "Whew," said the man, "thank God!"

Stumbling Horse

A farmer and his brand new bride are riding home in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbles. The farmer says, "That's once." A little further along, the horse stumbles again. The farmer says, "That's twice." When the old horse stumbles again, the farmer quietly reaches under his seat, pulls out a shotgun, and shoots the horse. His brand new bride yells, "That was an awful thing to do!" The farmer says, "That's once."

Snails

Q: Why do the French eat snails?
A: They don't like fast food.